so sad.

Being a mother has really changed me. I mean I knew that already but Sat night really reminded me of just how much of a mom I really am. Most people that knew me when I was a teenager and even in my early twenties would probably never picture me being such a dedicated mother. My next door neighbor has a little girl, she can’t be older than like 7. It was the moms birthday this weekend. I was trying to be cool about the noise, I don’t want to the the old lady next door complaining and telling people to be quiet even though thats what I really wanted them to do. I did go out once and just let them know that they were right outside a little boys bedroom and try to keep it down. They were cursing and smoking (who knows what all they were smoking) and it was super obnoxious. I just kept my son in the living room until he fell asleep and then put him in my bed so they didn’t wake him. I was trying to be cool about it all but then I heard the little girl’s voice. I wanted to cry. I had a mom that partied with me around when I was younger and it wasn’t the best thing for me- at all. I just felt deeply sad when I realized she was home for this. I was worried that my baby was going to hear a curse word and a 7 yr old had to witness the whole thing. And it went on until past 4am. I had nightmares. I dreamed I was that little girl and I was begging for my mother and she just wouldn’t come to me. Horrifying really. I have heard the little girl crying for her mother twice before (I just moved here about two weeks ago) and her mother was outside smoking pot one of the times. Its totally not my business but having gone through similar stuff as a kid I just want to shake that girls mom and say “hey look, this is what is going to happen to your daughter if you dont stop it!” But I can’t cause I hardly know her and again, not my business, sorta wish it was though…

Tags: bad parents, nightmares, partying with kids, underage traumatization